Shawn wipes your tears away but more fall right after. W-when you didn’t c-call or t-text, I-I though-t some-thing hap-happened.” “Y-you we-re sup-supposed to c-come h-home last ni-ght an-d you did-n’t. You can barely get a word out through your sobs and gasps. Hands on your cheeks force your head up from between your knees and you feel the coldness of Shawn’s feather ring on your cheek. So close to you, he could hear the shuffle of your socked feet against the throw rug at the foot of the bed and carefully opens the door, afraid to spook you. Shawn takes the stairs two at a time as he follows the sound to your bedroom and slows to a stop outside. With supersonic hearing, your erratic heartbeat and gasping breaths were as clear as day. Shawn wasn’t sure how he hadn’t heard it at first. Manuel was outside talking about changing up patrol units. They’d been so tired they’d stayed another night at the Red Moon Pack and had a few things to go over before parting ways. “Y/N? I’m home, baby!” Shawn yells through a laugh as Andrew finishes his joke. You curled up against the foot of yours and Shawn’s king bed with the heels of your hands pressed into your eyes as you try to calm your breathing but you can’t - you can’t breathe. You weren’t Shawn could deal with his mate having unstable mental health on top of running a pack of wolves. He had seen his people have a crisis of faith, but this was different. Shawn had never experienced or witnessed a panic attack according to Karen. You got sick for often, acne came and went, and your meal health fluctuated like your hormones when on your period.Īnd that was the reason you hadn’t told Shawn about what was happening. You felt like an outcast, and you knew you always would. Surrounded by beings stronger, faster, and virtually better than you in every sense made you feel like a shrimp in every aspect, even though everybody in the pack loved and respected you. Human mates were rare, but Shawn considered himself lucky with you, though you believed otherwise. You figured that he was just late, and would be there in the morning, but when you woke up alone and there were no texts from Shawn, you began to worry and it quickly escalated. He’d been gone for a week on pack business with Andrew and Manuel and was supposed to come back yesterday, but you’d crawled into an empty bed, one side too cold for your liking. Shawn isn’t home when your third panic attack begins, three weeks after the second. When the panic attack had passed, you stained Karen’s shirt with your mascara, ashamed to be so human in a pack of wolves. It took her twenty-five minutes of whispering comforting words in your ears and rubbing your back before your breathing evened out. Karen didn’t say a word as she rushed to your side and made you sit down, rubbing slow circles onto your back and cooing into your ear. It’s Karen who finds you in the kitchen with watery eyes and labored breathing. The second time, he’s visiting a neighboring pack with Andrew and his father. He’s on the other side of the hundred acre property giving a speech to the new recruits. The first time you have a panic attack, Shawn isn’t home. He walks in on one and has no idea what to do Summary: you begin having panic attacks and don’t tell Shawn.